It is a fight. One against all. No one said it was fair, nor should it be. If you were not informed coming into the ring, putting your gloves on quicker than you could have heard the news, it is most likely no one's fault. But that does not change a thing. You hear it ring, the bell. It's too late. It hits you right there and then, literally and figuratively, your opponent and yourself are no match. But again, that does not change a thing. For you are not fighting an amateur, or even a world champion. He's bigger. It's Bigger. You are fighting a monster, Alias: Stereotypes.
If you think I went too far describing it, I think I haven't gone far enough. It is not an easy task constantly going up against every single person's expectations but your own. Constantly trying to fill in that mold everyone has made for you, based merely on your last name, color or gender. What is even worse, is being treated as if you are in fact and exact clone of your fellow mold-ees. Indeed, people see what they want to see. I heard this saying by a journalist, nonetheless, quoting "Believe half of what you see, and a quarter of what you hear". After looking into it and based on past experience, I am not surprised I heard him say it at all. Why is it we have to constantly prove that we are not who people think we are, rather than devoting that effort on showing people exactly who we REALLY are? I pitty him or her who steps into that whirepool of controversy, but sadly enough, I sympathize for him or her as well. For I am no less involved than they are. I have discovered that this fight is an obligatory one. One not to be taken lightly or thought any less of. It is a constant climb. A climb up the steepest mountain, over the deepest of valleys, with the wind blowing in your face, and an ugly bunch of Hippocrates at the peak anticipating your every slip and slide, hoping that they will have the pleasure of seeing you fade away. I am sure this sounds a bit obscure, but I have no doubt that everyone can most probably relate. It seems no matter what you do, no matter how different you are from your peers –or those who seem to be-, you will always find yourself at that mountain. Because the fact is, that ugly bunch up there, wants to see nothing else than you falling. So, whether you make it or not, in their eyes, you will always be a failure. What saddens me is that some of those will actively try to force you down that mountain bank. So the question remains: How?!
I am one to believe that change comes from the inside out. Those people at the top could very easily and surely be you, without you knowing it. Well, at least now you'll make sure. If there were interviews to apply for that job – standing atop that mountain-, hypocrisy would indeed be a requisite. Put in mind that every person is as unique as the finger prints on his fingers. NO TWO will ever match! Therefore, reformat your brain to deal with that person based on your experience with him or her, NOT people who you might think are the same. If genetic twins have differences between their DNAs, I'm sure perfect strangers stand a greater chance. So change the way you look at people, and maybe, just maybe, there will be less people up there waiting for you to fall.
Define who it is exactly you want to satisfy, and why?! If I know I am a well mannered individual, why should I feel the inclination to walk in every room with a neon sign above my head saying it? Let your actions do the talking. And if that doesn't work, make sure you give that person a map to the top of the mountain, because that's where he belongs.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Three Conversations
Three Conversations
Have you ever thought to yourself, how strong am I? If you are a bodybuilder, you most likely look in the mirror several times, checking out those biceps and them pecs. If you’re an aerobics master, you're pretty much always looking at your abs. If you’re a teen age girl, when you look into that mirror, you are all that aren't you?! If you’re a successful, accomplished woman, your most probably never go to sleep at night before thinking to yourself about what you've accomplished or who you've helped that day. But have you ever thought truthfully, what all that really weighs on the big scale? I got to thinking the other day about how human beings compare to other creatures and creations of God, only to come to the conclusion that we humans were, by far, the most sophisticated, most convoluted beings on this earth. But something bothered me. Something denied me ease or satisfaction with that thought. This "thing" itched, it tapped at my brain cells endlessly. What if you're wrong? How can you be so sure? So I thought to myself about Allah's greatest creations. His miraculous masterpieces laying here on earth since the beginning of time.
I was walking, thinking along that same string of thoughts, when I bumped into the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was the red sea. So I sat, with no one to talk to, for it was too early in the morning for many. But not me, I had a dilemma to be resolved. So I decided to ask this beautiful being, I doubted it had enough wisdom for such a debate, but I figured: what did I have to lose? Oh my beautiful red sea, tell me about yourself. So she replied, she responded, with a voice calmer than the sound of the wind on the even calmer surface of her waters: I am simple , yet grand. I am not boring, nor bland. I have all the energy you could imagine yet, remain conservative and sound. My two ends are a horizon, straighter the straightest line, and a sea shore or rocks, rigid and rough. I can be the most peaceful site you've ever seen, when I'm calm and asleep. So calm, even the hottest of suns, lies in my cool blankets at the end of the day. But I can also be the roughest and the toughest, when that storm comes along. I am to a fisherman, the difference between a good day, and complete destruction. My waves can be soothing enough to carry a peaceful floater, or tall enough to swallow the greatest of ships. But it's all in control my dear human. I am patient. If you look at any one point, you will see that small wave carrying along. That small wave is my secret, my currency of energy. That small wave no sooner breaks, only to find his fellow wave come right along and push him back to life. Discipline, control, team-work. And then I asked her, already so amazed at her answer: But you cannot fly like eagles, or sing like birds, or run like cheetas, or mate like mammals. How can you live like that? And then she said those magic words : Al- Hamdulillah!
I could not believe what simplicity, but great wisdom the sea had. But I decided to move along.
Trying to get over how much the sea threw me off, I sat in a valley next to a mountain. Now I was sure this time, that a solid rock was not going to have the answer to my problem, but again I found no choice but to ask: Oh dear mountain, tell me about yourself. So the mountain replied with a voice deeper and wiser than ever: I am great but mysterious. I am tall but down to earth. God put me here to stabilize your earth my friend. And I proudly serve that purpose everyday. I choose not to reveal what great mysteries I have within me. I am high on top, but even taller down below. My roots are much taller than my body if u may. I show different-colored rocks; red, brown, black. But I hide even more colors inside me. Gold, silver, copper, carbon. I am so great I am feared by almost anybody, for I am the source of volcanoes, except he who shelters in my caves or under my shade, to which I am the kindest of beings. You see, I know how great I am, but I do not reveal myself except to those who will appreciate. I treat like I want to be treated. It's that simple. So again, at complete awe and surprise, I asked: But my friend mountain, you cannot run like a river, or grow like a tree. You cannot build like a beaver, or feed like a mother bird. And before I could catch my self from making the same naïve mistake again, he beat me to it and said : Al-Hamdulillah.
My ears rung of music, for his word were wise and neat, and his voice was most soothing. But I decided to continue on, for as they say: Third time is the charm.
Still hearing the melody of the mountain's great words, I found myself sitting under a huge oak tree. It was scary at first, but with that beautiful green, it could have not fooled me one bit. So I said: Dear oak tree, tell me about yourself. And so the oak tree began with that oh so soothing, motherly tone, with the most compassionate of looks. Already I felt that she, like the sea and mountain, was going to throw me off, btu I decided to gather my excitement and listen. Dear human, as if it were not enough that I was green –the color of life-, I will be glad to tell you. When you came along, I was already here in heaven. I was what covered u up after u sinned. When you came down to earth, and forgot about earth, I did not. I am the only hope this earth has left. I am what cleans up your destructive habits. I am what gives you shade on a sunny day. I take pride in turning good into bad, in finding the silver lining in every days problems, without minding or griping at all. That which you get rid of, which you so selflessly throw away and expire constantly everyday, I take in with my motherly arms and turn into oxygen, the sign of life. I make my own, and depend on no other. Wise, independent and beautiful. I started telling myself, after an answer like that I dare not ask the question. But despite my silence, the tree also said : Al-Hamdulillah.
It took three conversations, but I finally got my answer. We are NOT the most sophisticated beings. Where is that calmness when we need it? Where is that wild rage of the ocean when we need it? Where is that modesty of the mountain when we need it? Where is that positive attitude of that beautiful tree when we need it? But what bothered me the most, and stood there to prove that humans will always remain humans, is that I thought to myself what the real purpose of these creatures was. Sure they were beautiful, biologically and geologically beneficial, but what was there real purpose of being?? When I eventually found the answer, I felt complete anger and disgust at myself. Allah created these great seas and mountains and trees saying to you the human being: I am your creator. You should obey me and pray to me. But just in case you doubt, as I know humans do, I gave u seas and oceans to admire. I built you a tall mountain to think about. I planted endless trees for you to live off of and at the same time remember that every creation has a creator. Yet, we with our human egos manage somehow to think we know all and that we are the greatest, which is what brought me to write this in the first place. Look, watch, listen. If we could all just overcome our pride and look around. If you are a mother, let your child teach you. If you are a captain let your soldiers talk to you. If you are a student, let those you think less of share with you, and maybe then, and only then, will you be calmer than the sea, more modest than the mountain and more productive than a tree. Finally, take their words, their answers to my questions. When you feel that your not what you want to be, that you're going in the wrong direction, that your no satisfied, that you ar less fortunate than others, be like that tree, and that sea and mountain and say: Al Hamdulillah. You are what you are, and that is perfectly fine. La Ilaha illa Allah.
Rayan A. Karkadan
Have you ever thought to yourself, how strong am I? If you are a bodybuilder, you most likely look in the mirror several times, checking out those biceps and them pecs. If you’re an aerobics master, you're pretty much always looking at your abs. If you’re a teen age girl, when you look into that mirror, you are all that aren't you?! If you’re a successful, accomplished woman, your most probably never go to sleep at night before thinking to yourself about what you've accomplished or who you've helped that day. But have you ever thought truthfully, what all that really weighs on the big scale? I got to thinking the other day about how human beings compare to other creatures and creations of God, only to come to the conclusion that we humans were, by far, the most sophisticated, most convoluted beings on this earth. But something bothered me. Something denied me ease or satisfaction with that thought. This "thing" itched, it tapped at my brain cells endlessly. What if you're wrong? How can you be so sure? So I thought to myself about Allah's greatest creations. His miraculous masterpieces laying here on earth since the beginning of time.
I was walking, thinking along that same string of thoughts, when I bumped into the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was the red sea. So I sat, with no one to talk to, for it was too early in the morning for many. But not me, I had a dilemma to be resolved. So I decided to ask this beautiful being, I doubted it had enough wisdom for such a debate, but I figured: what did I have to lose? Oh my beautiful red sea, tell me about yourself. So she replied, she responded, with a voice calmer than the sound of the wind on the even calmer surface of her waters: I am simple , yet grand. I am not boring, nor bland. I have all the energy you could imagine yet, remain conservative and sound. My two ends are a horizon, straighter the straightest line, and a sea shore or rocks, rigid and rough. I can be the most peaceful site you've ever seen, when I'm calm and asleep. So calm, even the hottest of suns, lies in my cool blankets at the end of the day. But I can also be the roughest and the toughest, when that storm comes along. I am to a fisherman, the difference between a good day, and complete destruction. My waves can be soothing enough to carry a peaceful floater, or tall enough to swallow the greatest of ships. But it's all in control my dear human. I am patient. If you look at any one point, you will see that small wave carrying along. That small wave is my secret, my currency of energy. That small wave no sooner breaks, only to find his fellow wave come right along and push him back to life. Discipline, control, team-work. And then I asked her, already so amazed at her answer: But you cannot fly like eagles, or sing like birds, or run like cheetas, or mate like mammals. How can you live like that? And then she said those magic words : Al- Hamdulillah!
I could not believe what simplicity, but great wisdom the sea had. But I decided to move along.
Trying to get over how much the sea threw me off, I sat in a valley next to a mountain. Now I was sure this time, that a solid rock was not going to have the answer to my problem, but again I found no choice but to ask: Oh dear mountain, tell me about yourself. So the mountain replied with a voice deeper and wiser than ever: I am great but mysterious. I am tall but down to earth. God put me here to stabilize your earth my friend. And I proudly serve that purpose everyday. I choose not to reveal what great mysteries I have within me. I am high on top, but even taller down below. My roots are much taller than my body if u may. I show different-colored rocks; red, brown, black. But I hide even more colors inside me. Gold, silver, copper, carbon. I am so great I am feared by almost anybody, for I am the source of volcanoes, except he who shelters in my caves or under my shade, to which I am the kindest of beings. You see, I know how great I am, but I do not reveal myself except to those who will appreciate. I treat like I want to be treated. It's that simple. So again, at complete awe and surprise, I asked: But my friend mountain, you cannot run like a river, or grow like a tree. You cannot build like a beaver, or feed like a mother bird. And before I could catch my self from making the same naïve mistake again, he beat me to it and said : Al-Hamdulillah.
My ears rung of music, for his word were wise and neat, and his voice was most soothing. But I decided to continue on, for as they say: Third time is the charm.
Still hearing the melody of the mountain's great words, I found myself sitting under a huge oak tree. It was scary at first, but with that beautiful green, it could have not fooled me one bit. So I said: Dear oak tree, tell me about yourself. And so the oak tree began with that oh so soothing, motherly tone, with the most compassionate of looks. Already I felt that she, like the sea and mountain, was going to throw me off, btu I decided to gather my excitement and listen. Dear human, as if it were not enough that I was green –the color of life-, I will be glad to tell you. When you came along, I was already here in heaven. I was what covered u up after u sinned. When you came down to earth, and forgot about earth, I did not. I am the only hope this earth has left. I am what cleans up your destructive habits. I am what gives you shade on a sunny day. I take pride in turning good into bad, in finding the silver lining in every days problems, without minding or griping at all. That which you get rid of, which you so selflessly throw away and expire constantly everyday, I take in with my motherly arms and turn into oxygen, the sign of life. I make my own, and depend on no other. Wise, independent and beautiful. I started telling myself, after an answer like that I dare not ask the question. But despite my silence, the tree also said : Al-Hamdulillah.
It took three conversations, but I finally got my answer. We are NOT the most sophisticated beings. Where is that calmness when we need it? Where is that wild rage of the ocean when we need it? Where is that modesty of the mountain when we need it? Where is that positive attitude of that beautiful tree when we need it? But what bothered me the most, and stood there to prove that humans will always remain humans, is that I thought to myself what the real purpose of these creatures was. Sure they were beautiful, biologically and geologically beneficial, but what was there real purpose of being?? When I eventually found the answer, I felt complete anger and disgust at myself. Allah created these great seas and mountains and trees saying to you the human being: I am your creator. You should obey me and pray to me. But just in case you doubt, as I know humans do, I gave u seas and oceans to admire. I built you a tall mountain to think about. I planted endless trees for you to live off of and at the same time remember that every creation has a creator. Yet, we with our human egos manage somehow to think we know all and that we are the greatest, which is what brought me to write this in the first place. Look, watch, listen. If we could all just overcome our pride and look around. If you are a mother, let your child teach you. If you are a captain let your soldiers talk to you. If you are a student, let those you think less of share with you, and maybe then, and only then, will you be calmer than the sea, more modest than the mountain and more productive than a tree. Finally, take their words, their answers to my questions. When you feel that your not what you want to be, that you're going in the wrong direction, that your no satisfied, that you ar less fortunate than others, be like that tree, and that sea and mountain and say: Al Hamdulillah. You are what you are, and that is perfectly fine. La Ilaha illa Allah.
Rayan A. Karkadan
Me and Myself
A conversation between the two things that control me, that move me, that keep me alive and kicking: My self and My brain
Brain: I often think, overthink if you will. I sometimes rationalize, and I say SOEMTIMES because often I feel there is a more dominant force. There is a power than controls me, that manipulates me into doing what it wants. I've tried to resist, I've tried to fight back, I've tried to ignore, only to use my brain juices and come to the conclusion that I am human, or part of a human. I searched, I looked endlessly for this mysterious boss of mine. It is you…. My self.
Self: I was created with many purposes and many needs. Needs which I share and apply to you my friend. You don't know me, so you are quick to judge. When I'm happy, im happier than the mother of a bride, when I am sad I am sadder than he who lost his loved one, when I admire, I see with the eyes of a child looking at his ice cream, when I cry, I am that child right after u take it away. When I aspire, I am more ambitious than a scientist on the verge of a breakthrough, when I believe, I believe stronger than an Olympic athlete. When I teach, I teach with passion, with care and with absolute hope; hope that someday my student will turn out better than me and more. If the bottom of my heart had vocal cords, I would sing like a blue jay. I will not say I'm overwhelmed, for I am overwhelm it self. I am what moves you. I am what soothes you. I am what let's you look at a green forrest, swing with the trees, sting with the bees. I have all this power. Do u not expect me to use it??
Brain: Wow! I never knew you were like that. But I'm suffering. I'm grieving. I am the source of ration. I represent sequential thinking and conceptual conclusion. I represent wise judgement, not jumping to decisions, weighing all options. You have to understand me. I'm what filters your outbursts, I'm what studies your impulses. I know the outside world more than you do. Why can't you respect that? Why can't u trust me? Everytime I work, I study, I think, u have to intrude. You have to intervene. If I work based on reality, based on strict concepts, what harm can come out of tht? Why can't you let me do my thing?
Self: There is more to life than rigid concepts and strict bases. Empathy. Faith. Patience. Love. We are human. What is it that separates us from our fellow beings of other species? We are conscious, in that we can make a decision, a rational one at that, and that is your job. But what else? We can empathise for one another. We can put ourselves in others' shoes. We have faith in a greater, more superior being. We are …. Simply human. How can you dismiss such importance? How can u so easily and surely over look?
Brain: I agree. But why is it I find myself constantly conflicting with you? Why is it we are head to head? Yes, I admit. You are the faith by which I decide to pray five times a day. You are the sadness that puts my hand in my pocket and gives those in need. You are the patience that enables me to fast, and the compassion that maks me wonder what it's like in Africa. But you are also the greed that makes me spend. You are the need that makes me whine. You are the weakness when I struggle. You are the love that blurs my life. You are the anger that pushes words and hurts the ones I care. You are the fear that makes me lose touch with the very one who created me. The very one who promised that with faith –that which u provide-, everything will be. But I'm done. Im fed up. I cannot continue. If I wasn’t afraid for rayan, If I did not care about him and what might become of him, I would turn it over to you. I would give you full control. But it is fear that your extreme standards will do bad. But I am a brain in the end, and brains think. And I thought of something I hope you can find in your heart to join. What would happen if we were together? What would become of this kid if were hand-in-hand? Would it not be for the best? Would it not put us.him at ultimate peace…. Knowing that his actions are a result of serious thinking, and at the same time, complete satisfaction of his conscious; you?
Self: If I were a brain, I'd think it would be impossible. But I am not. I believe, I love and I serve. But wht if we disagree? Who has the final word? Who gets the final say?
Brain: The way I see it is: I am a filter for things that don’t make sense. Things that are irrational and impractical. Things that have no basis or applicable use. You are a filter for things that lack humanity, that are deficient in morality and ethics, things that do not follow the belief, the belief of islam. So why cant the final say be to those things that pass both filters? Why does it always have to be mind vs. heart? Why can't it be the result of both? Think with me what kind of person would we produce, abilities, power, compassion, love, morals, happiness.
Self: This is weird me saying this, but that's the best idea u've come up with your whole life. Lol.
Brain: I often think, overthink if you will. I sometimes rationalize, and I say SOEMTIMES because often I feel there is a more dominant force. There is a power than controls me, that manipulates me into doing what it wants. I've tried to resist, I've tried to fight back, I've tried to ignore, only to use my brain juices and come to the conclusion that I am human, or part of a human. I searched, I looked endlessly for this mysterious boss of mine. It is you…. My self.
Self: I was created with many purposes and many needs. Needs which I share and apply to you my friend. You don't know me, so you are quick to judge. When I'm happy, im happier than the mother of a bride, when I am sad I am sadder than he who lost his loved one, when I admire, I see with the eyes of a child looking at his ice cream, when I cry, I am that child right after u take it away. When I aspire, I am more ambitious than a scientist on the verge of a breakthrough, when I believe, I believe stronger than an Olympic athlete. When I teach, I teach with passion, with care and with absolute hope; hope that someday my student will turn out better than me and more. If the bottom of my heart had vocal cords, I would sing like a blue jay. I will not say I'm overwhelmed, for I am overwhelm it self. I am what moves you. I am what soothes you. I am what let's you look at a green forrest, swing with the trees, sting with the bees. I have all this power. Do u not expect me to use it??
Brain: Wow! I never knew you were like that. But I'm suffering. I'm grieving. I am the source of ration. I represent sequential thinking and conceptual conclusion. I represent wise judgement, not jumping to decisions, weighing all options. You have to understand me. I'm what filters your outbursts, I'm what studies your impulses. I know the outside world more than you do. Why can't you respect that? Why can't u trust me? Everytime I work, I study, I think, u have to intrude. You have to intervene. If I work based on reality, based on strict concepts, what harm can come out of tht? Why can't you let me do my thing?
Self: There is more to life than rigid concepts and strict bases. Empathy. Faith. Patience. Love. We are human. What is it that separates us from our fellow beings of other species? We are conscious, in that we can make a decision, a rational one at that, and that is your job. But what else? We can empathise for one another. We can put ourselves in others' shoes. We have faith in a greater, more superior being. We are …. Simply human. How can you dismiss such importance? How can u so easily and surely over look?
Brain: I agree. But why is it I find myself constantly conflicting with you? Why is it we are head to head? Yes, I admit. You are the faith by which I decide to pray five times a day. You are the sadness that puts my hand in my pocket and gives those in need. You are the patience that enables me to fast, and the compassion that maks me wonder what it's like in Africa. But you are also the greed that makes me spend. You are the need that makes me whine. You are the weakness when I struggle. You are the love that blurs my life. You are the anger that pushes words and hurts the ones I care. You are the fear that makes me lose touch with the very one who created me. The very one who promised that with faith –that which u provide-, everything will be. But I'm done. Im fed up. I cannot continue. If I wasn’t afraid for rayan, If I did not care about him and what might become of him, I would turn it over to you. I would give you full control. But it is fear that your extreme standards will do bad. But I am a brain in the end, and brains think. And I thought of something I hope you can find in your heart to join. What would happen if we were together? What would become of this kid if were hand-in-hand? Would it not be for the best? Would it not put us.him at ultimate peace…. Knowing that his actions are a result of serious thinking, and at the same time, complete satisfaction of his conscious; you?
Self: If I were a brain, I'd think it would be impossible. But I am not. I believe, I love and I serve. But wht if we disagree? Who has the final word? Who gets the final say?
Brain: The way I see it is: I am a filter for things that don’t make sense. Things that are irrational and impractical. Things that have no basis or applicable use. You are a filter for things that lack humanity, that are deficient in morality and ethics, things that do not follow the belief, the belief of islam. So why cant the final say be to those things that pass both filters? Why does it always have to be mind vs. heart? Why can't it be the result of both? Think with me what kind of person would we produce, abilities, power, compassion, love, morals, happiness.
Self: This is weird me saying this, but that's the best idea u've come up with your whole life. Lol.
Inviting you to share
Dear reader,
Whether you are a close friend, a relative, or simply a web-surfer stumbling upon one of my modest topics, i invite, rather, encourage you to read carefully, think, re-think, and then share your prespective on the topic. I do, however, hope you are aware, mature and open-minded enough as to respect what is written, and actually consider my answers to any questions you might have. There are too many people today who raise questions just for the heck of it, and not to inquire or gain knowledge. I purposely called it "Re-think" to raise the notion that we should refrain from our usual rigid thinking and rusted concepts, and open the door to criticism -when constructive. The outcome is either clearifying to others, or re-thinking of your own; a win -win situation indeed. Cheers.
Whether you are a close friend, a relative, or simply a web-surfer stumbling upon one of my modest topics, i invite, rather, encourage you to read carefully, think, re-think, and then share your prespective on the topic. I do, however, hope you are aware, mature and open-minded enough as to respect what is written, and actually consider my answers to any questions you might have. There are too many people today who raise questions just for the heck of it, and not to inquire or gain knowledge. I purposely called it "Re-think" to raise the notion that we should refrain from our usual rigid thinking and rusted concepts, and open the door to criticism -when constructive. The outcome is either clearifying to others, or re-thinking of your own; a win -win situation indeed. Cheers.
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